[Bizarro World]

Thy Name is Irony

Bush gave a speech this morning that absolutely defies commentary or satire. It was designed to be a rejoinder to the masses who now believe Bush is a liar who led us on a bloody goose chase to the desert as well as those who feel it was conducted with the maximum of arrogance and incompetence.

But enough of me--I'll let Bush speak for himself.

• "And the civilized world knows very well that other fanatics in history, from Hitler to Stalin to Pol Pot, consumed whole nations in war and genocide before leaving the stage of history. Evil men, obsessed with ambition and unburdened by conscience, must be taken very seriously -- and we must stop them before their crimes can multiply."

• "The radicals exploit local conflicts to build a culture of victimization, in which someone else is always to blame and violence is always the solution."

• "Like the ideology of communism, our new enemy teaches that innocent individuals can be sacrificed to serve a political vision."

• "Its leaders pretend to be an aggrieved party, representing the powerless against imperial enemies. In truth they have endless ambitions of imperial domination, and they wish to make everyone powerless except themselves."

• "The only thing modern about the militants' vision is the weapons they want to use against us. The rest of their grim vision is defined by a warped image of the past -- a declaration of war on the idea of progress, itself."

• "There's always a temptation, in the middle of a long struggle, to seek the quiet life, to escape the duties and problems of the world."

Finally, a Bizarro World Ode in Two Stanzas

"The United States makes no distinction between those who commit acts of terror and those who support and harbor them, because they're equally as guilty of murder."

"For this reason, we're working with President Musharraf to oppose and isolate the militants in Pakistan."