[9/11, Politics]

The Shorter Bush Speech.

Last night, even as ABC's paid advertisement for the GOP reached a mere handful of viewers, Bush took the big stage to exploit 9/11. The full text of the speech is here, but it's long, predictable, and infuriating. Below is the shorter version.

My fellow Americans, thanks to constant coverage of the last week, you are emotionally distraught as you recall the tragedy of 9/11. I'd like to take advantage of your weak emotional state to scare you more profoundly in the run-up to this fall's elections.

9/11 evil evil evil, courage in the face of evil, firefighters, cops battling evil. Evil killers; evil, evil.

This is the titanic, ideological struggle of the 21st Century and only one monotheistic culture can survive. You should be worried that if you elect Democrats, they'll side with the Islamofascists, as Karl and I have always maintained.

9/11 evil evil evil.

Saddam Hussein, practically a brother to Osama, needed to be taken out, which I boldly did. Behold now, three years later, the glorious garden of peace and democracy your patron has planted for you in the Middle East.

You're either with the troops or against them.

Pulpy paragraph in which I invoke Norman Rockwell America, associate myself with it, and explain how my policies ensure this noble idyll before slagging the Dems and their policies of appeasement that probably were the cause of 9/11. (By the way, there's an ABC docu--they call it a "docudrama," but it's really more accurate than even the facts--an ABC program that describes how Clinton caused 9/11 which I recommend.)

World War II, I'm the modern FDR. Eventually, as in Germany "the clouds of war will part, the appeal of radicalism will decline, and we will leave our children with a better and safer world."*

Exploitative paragraph where I co-opt the valor of a soldier named Patrick, his brother James, who just became a NY firefighter, and his father Kevin, a firefighter who died on 9/11. I'm cool like them.

May God bless those of you who will go to the polls and prevent the Democrats from taking the House and/or Senate.

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*Actual quote.