Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Year in Review - The Quotes

Wait, is it 2007? I must be remiss in my annual review of the events. I shall make haste to address this oversight. Let's begin with some quotes.*

International Quotes
"The devil is right at home. The devil - the devil, himself, is right in the house. And the devil came here yesterday. Yesterday, the devil came here. Right here. Right here. And it smells of sulfur still today."
- Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez at the UN (referring to President Bush)

" 'Show me just what Muhammad brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman.' "
- Pope Benedict XVI quoting a 14th century Byzantine emperor in a speech that enfuriated Muslims across the world

The Decider

"I'm the decider, and I decide what is best. And what's best is for Don Rumsfeld to remain as the secretary of defense."
- President George W. Bush

"You know, one of the hardest parts of my job is to connect Iraq to the war on terror."
- Bush, in an interview with Katie Couric

"I think the national anthem ought to be sung in English, and I think people who want to be a citizen of this country ought to learn English."
- Bush, during the immigration debate

"We will stay the course. We will help this young Iraqi democracy succeed. And victory in Iraq will be a major ideological triumph in the struggle of the 21st Century."
- Bush, September

"Well, hey, listen, we’ve never been “stay the course,” George. We have been — we will complete the mission, we will do our job, and help achieve the goal, but we’re constantly adjusting to tactics. Constantly."
- Bush, October, in an interview with George Stephanopoulus

“Are you going to ask that question with shades on?”
- Bush, to blind reporter Peter Wallsten

The Shooter
"I'm the guy who pulled the trigger that fired the round that hit Harry."
- Veep Dick Cheney, days after shooting his friend Harry Whittington in the face

"My family and I are deeply sorry for all that Vice President Cheney and his family have had to go through this past week."
- Harry Whittington, apologizing to Cheney for getting in the way of his shotgun

“To the vice president's credit, he did own up to it. On FOX News he said the fault was his, he can't blame anybody else. Boy, it's amazing, the only time you get accountability out of this administration is when they are actually holding a smoking gun."
- Bill Maher

Election 2006

"This fellow here, over here with the yellow shirt, macaca, or whatever his name is. He's with my opponent. He's following us around everywhere. And it's just great. ... Let's give a welcome to macaca, here. Welcome to America and the real world of Virginia."
- Sen. George Allen, mocking a staffer of his opponent

"So where does the race stand now, with just over a month to go? (George) Allen has angered Blacks, Jews and Macacans, while (Jim) Webb has angered Women and The Horny. Virginia, now it's up to you to decide which one of these two men will help you build a bridge, to let's say, the early- to mid- 20th century."
- Jon Stewart, on the Virginia Senate race

“I still had a ham sandwich for lunch. And my mother made great pork chops.”
- Allen, in another gaffe, demonstrating his utter goyness

"If anybody is found to have hidden information or covered up information, they really should be gone."
- Speaker of the House Denny Hastert, amid the Foley scandal

"It does not appear to be affecting any of our races in any way."
- John Boehner, House Majority Leader, on the Foley scandal

"I'm lookin' at all these and addin' 'em up and I add up to a Republican Senate and a Republican House. You may end up with a different math, but you're entitled to your math, and I'm entitled to the math."
- Karl Rove, days before the election proved his math to be fuzzy

Media

"When you call us, ladies and gentlemen, just so you know, we do have your phone number, and if you say anything untoward, obscene, or anything like that, Fox security will then contact your local authorities, and you will be held accountable."
- Bill O'Reilly, threatening Fox callers

"I have the feeling about 60% of what you say is crap."
- David Letterman to Bill O'Reilly

"When the president decides something on Monday, he still believes it on Wednesday -- no matter what happened Tuesday."
- Stephen Colbert, at the 2006 White House Corespondents Dinner

Errata
"Today I am announcing my intention to resign my seat in the House."
- Disgraced House Majority leader Tom DeLay, April

"The President said 'there's weapons of mass distruction;' the President said 'we can do it for $50 billion dollars;' the President said "we will be welcomed as liberators.' What makes you think that because the President said it that's the way it's going to be?"
- John Murtha

"And again, the Internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a big truck. It's a series of tubes."
- Alaska Senator Ted Stevens, describing the internet

"F***ing Jews. The Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world. Are you a Jew?" And later: "What do you think you're looking at, sugar tits?"
- Mel Gibson, flushing his career down the toilet in a drunken fit
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*To the best of my knowledge, these are all accurate, but it's a blog, so you never know...

3 comments:

Torrid said...

well, if you call $47mil (so far) for another movie with dead-language dialogue "flushing," it's at least a pretty nice toilet he's flushing into...

A little bird said...

It must be one of those fancy-schmancy Japanese toilets!

We do like to forgive artists their iniquities for the sake of their art. Don't flame me for implying that Mel is an artist. I'm just saying...

Polanski anyone?

Jeff Alworth said...

After "Christ?"--yeah, that's a flush. The budget was listed at $40 mil, which doesn't include promo, so breaking even for a guy who had a built-in audience of 200 million Christian to watch his pro-Christian epic is pretty grim.